It took a pandemic for me to see everything I did wrong. It helped me get out of a depression. I realized that I’ve been living for everyone else. Putting everything else first.. Work, friends, being a therapist. Meanwhile, I was the one that actually needed one. So… being trapped in the house, made me sit and think about everything. It was a lot to think about.
The last five years have been a nightmare, a gift and a curse. I threw myself into work. I’ve lost a best friend (RIP). I’ve gained two new ones. As well as, a group of amazing individuals that have become family. Most importantly I’ve reconnected with Belinda and I’m spending more time with my sister Toni. I’ve worked so much that I didn’t get the chance to properly grieve my best friend. I took it out on anyone that I could. I thank them often for putting up with my shit. I drank for 96 days. I was literally performing and showing my ass. Flipping out in the street yelling at people. I would even post videos of it. I could’ve gotten my ass whooped by a stranger. Or, something totally worse. I was talking to a friend yesterday. She was giving me props for being strong. She didn’t know how I did it. I don’t know either..
It’s now September. I’m enjoying life like I never had before. I feel reborn.. I love everyday!! My best friend is with me in spirit. I’m sure of it. I can speak up without thinking about hurting anyone. I’ll be damned if I work like that again. I love writing. I’m currently working on two projects. I’m in negotiations with another. So.. Actor is now on my resume. I’m getting use to having a website. Which is the best thing ever. Most of all… I’m going to places I’ve never been. This weekend I was able to experience Fire Island. Let me tell you… It is the greatest place on the planet. I heard that it’s much insane usually. However, we’re in social distancing times. We have to be safe and make the best of it. I was invited by a group of amazing individuals that I’ve bonded with. Some during lockdown on virtual happy hours. Most of them I’ve met at the bar.
I arrived Sunday afternoon. Soon as I get off the ferry I’m mesmerized. My friends were waiting for me to check in and get to the pool. I checked in and went and got lost. We left our phones in the room to charge. We’re total geniuses!! We get back and ask for directions. It was right outside my window. We greet each other. I see my friend Victoria Falls performing. Omg!! I live!! We go for drinks then we freshen up for dinner. I’m literally having a blast. I’m full of mimosas and vodka soda. I needed food badly. We go see a show and go back to the hotel. Our rooms were close to each other. Which was perfect… The next day we hit the beach, the pool and I took a morning stroll. Which was so refreshing. Everyone says hello and good morning. We then played bingo and had drinks. We’ve met these two amazing ladies. I hope that we meet again. I told my story to them. I felt like a weight was lifted. Then we went to see a friend who has a house in The Pines. We drink and sang at the piano. Then we ate… I’m a slim guy. I’ve answered everyone’s question.. Does Chazz eat?? I damn sure do. I don’t know where it went. We then went to see “Busted” which was hilarious and fabulous!! Then we partied until it was time to head back home. The best three days and two nights, I’ve ever had. So, it’s about me living and enjoying myself. I’m putting myself first. Getting to know people and and getting shit done my way!!
Here are some pics!!!
I also made a friend… That followed us to the house.
Until next time….