The first visit of the year. I was reprimanded for being a week late. I’ve fallen into this creative space and I’m enjoying it. However, when this happens I get into an emotional tizzy. It gets insane, I’m sensitive about every single thing. My friend typed in all caps. Talking about taking things personal… That was four days ago. Although, I received an apology. I still feel offended by this. I’ll get over it. Maybe, I’ll write a song about it.
With that said…. I’m going to go ahead and continue working on music. This is way too much fun. I’m learning how to double up vocals and instruments. There’s this huge adrenaline rush that hits. This is so much better than being just a performer or vocalist. Don’t get me wrong… That’s what led me here. However, I’m doing this on my own terms. I’m listening to all the music that I’ve listened to growing up. I’m going back to those days when I performed in talent shows. The artists that have inspired me to ever think about singing a song. Let me tell you…. That’s not the way that I want to go.
My therapist reminded me that I may have taken on too much. Recently, a friend asked me to help her with a project. She’s doing quite well and I like where she’s going with it. I’m also getting my acting career back on track. I’m currently developing a character for a drama that’s in development. I’ve forgot to mention that I have a job. These bills don’t pay themselves. I don’t want to lose myself by helping out someone else. That’s what he said… He also slid in… “Remember, where you were three years ago.” That kind of did it for me. I’m not going to overwhelm myself. Or, allow anyone to overwhelm me. I’ve set a few goals for myself. I’m two days behind schedule. That scares the living crap out of me! I’ve always met deadlines for others. How come I’m not able to do that for myself?
I’ve become a person that needs more than one calendar. I don’t think that makes any sense at all. Screw that noise!! It works!! He also suggested thirty more minutes. Clearly, I haven’t listened to anything he’s talking about. I really do pay attention. The extra minutes are for the other mess going on. I’ll be discussing this on a video blog.