Not A Grinch…. Just Protecting My Mental State.

The faces and responses regarding my Thanksgiving plans were pretty hilarious. I decided to cook a fabulous dinner for myself and stay home and binge watch whatever comes to mind. I don’t know why everyone feels that you need to be with family and friends. I’m thankful for having most of them in my life. We can see each other anytime. This is my holiday and I should be able to do what I want.

As a child growing up Thanksgiving was something to look forward to. My mom would go all out and make these desserts. I was obsessed with her blueberry muffins and pies. We would also put up our Christmas tree and decorations. It was just her and I and we had a blast. My dad would come and visit and we would call everyone and wish them a Happy turkey day. My mom would often tell people that we were going out. Just so we wouldn’t have any interruptions. She wanted the day just for us. I guess this is part of where I get this from. I would ask a lot of questions and she would always say… “You’re smart and you’ll figure it out.” She would tell me stuff about her siblings and was thankful for them. Also, she was thankful for not being around them on the holidays. She wouldn’t get into details. She probably thought that I would repeat it. I definitely would have. I was the child that was a bit “Too Grown”. It was like this… If you weren’t my parents, you had no reason to raise your voice at me. I was checking folks at the age of eight.

Fast forward… It’s 30 years later and I haven’t done a holiday dinner with my family in five years. It’s been pretty awesome actually. Why haven’t I started this sooner? I’ve become the “Househopper” I will bring a bottle of wine or liquor to the three friends that will invite me and have a freaking ball. The house with the best food was always saved for last. It’s been so refreshing spending time with people who care about you. Not the people who tolerate you just because you’re family. I’m not asked any uncomfortable questions. It’s never an uncomfortable environment. I haven’t witnessed any arguments or negative gossip. No one is watching what you put on your plate. No one is asking why isn’t that on your plate. It was beautiful seeing people genuinely getting along and welcoming whoever entered their home. It was the first year I witnessed that. I vowed NEVER to do a holiday with family. Well, it depends on which family member. As well as, who’s on the invite list.

Last year I decided at the last minute to go to my friends house. I mean it was a pandemic and I didn’t want to go. However, I made it out the house., I always have fun whenever I’m with them. They have welcomed me into their family. It’s a beautiful feeling. But I’m actually going to miss out this year. That I do feel bad about. However, this year it’s about what I want to do. I have a hard time saying no at times. I have to be selfish for once. They always tell me that. So, I’m actually listening to them. I’m going to be fine making calls, binge watching movies and working on music. I will not be bored, alone, sad and miserable. I’m going to entertained. I have a whole week and a half to catch up and see folks. I need to be in my own space for once. I’m not a grinch, I’m not dramatic, I’m just exhausted and want to rock out alone. My peace and sanity is worth more than anything in the world.

Author: Chazz.

Just some skinny pizza eating freak from Brooklyn. A lot of people say that I'm awesome. Which is dope! Now I want the universe to think so too.

3 thoughts on “Not A Grinch…. Just Protecting My Mental State.”

  1. If they don’t respect your decision then it’s on them. Your happiness is what matters. And yes we will see everyone the next day. -see MANAGEMENT xoxo 😘

  2. Happy Holiday! I feel the same as you. I would love to spend Thanksgiving at home, but I have a big family so I have no choice to head out to my mom, and my in-laws!

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