My apologies Nachos.. 😢
It’s five months into 2017. It’s been a pretty good year thus far. I mean you have your usual, ups and downs. Then you pick yourself up and keep it going. As you get older. You begin to appreciate what is actually around you. I’ve learned that you can’t point the finger at anyone. But yourself because you allowed it to happen. Not to judge a person. Based on a conversation with someone. That so called “Put you on” about. Especially not by appearance. Because we all have flaws. Allow me to babble for a bit. I’m really excited that I’ve been reconnecting with my friends from my childhood. I must say we all look damn good!! ☺️ We grew up in an era when we had to come inside. When the light came on. In front of the building. Our parents would snitch on us, if we were misbehaving. Some would even get popped in front of everyone. We were kids.. We actually played on the monkey bars, handball, rope, skelly. My favorite was tag and skating. We all had. So, we were entertained. And don’t bring it back in the house. Because that was it. Of course, we would fight and instigate. But by the next day. We were back to normal. I grew up in Roosevelt Projects in Brooklyn. Known as RV today. It’s the fondest memories that you have as a child. From the ages of 3 and 12 they say you remember those most. It was just my mother and I. My dad would pop up from time to time. We went to church all the time. Back then all the cartoons went off by 12. So, sitting in church on a Sunday afternoon. Wasn’t too much of a struggle. 😂 Today I appreciate those lessons in church. I do want to link up with them soon. It’s getting warm and everyone needs their asses outside. I left when my mom passed away. I was rather tough at first. I mean of course… losing a mother. That shit is a deep blow. It took me about 12 years after to deal with it. Today it’s not so hard. She’s proud of me. Plus I’m rather dope and living for me. But the idea of not seeing them again was catastrophic. For a while I came through from time to time. Due to me having family in the neighborhood. Slowly I just stopped. High school, work and marijuana did it. 😂 Ages 13-17 was a total shit show. My moms gone… I’m trying to figure shit out. Who the hell I am. Getting pick on at home and school wasn’t cute. I was awkward, nerdy and was a total misfit. Everyone made it clear that I was. I was paranoid as fuck. I moved to another area. I can say it was a nightmare at first. Trying to adjust. I made a few friends there. I can count on one hand as well. This was not RV. That was home. But over at the other neighborhood I’ve grown accustomed and tried to fit in. I never really did. I felt more accepted by a few friends in school. Then we moved into a house. I call it the day I overcame 😂. It was cool… I was always at work and getting plastered in midtown. I don’t know how I did it. Two jobs, school, drugs. Shit I would be lit as hell in school. I was focused and my grades were lit!!! Flash forward to today. I’m performing and recording. I’m writing this blog about myself. I love people more than ever. I’m a work in progress. I have a lot of amazing people in my corner. If something is bothering me. I’ll tell you directly. I try to stay away from gossip. However, when I’m told something. I don’t give a response. I just listen and know that I’m aware of you. I pretty much stay to myself. Because it can become overwhelming. Let me tell you about performing!! I would go to karaoke bars and have fun. I did try singing with a group when I was younger. It was always a dream of mine. However, I was quite the shy dude. Still am a bit. I always wanted to entertain. I just wasn’t confident enough. I would hear… “So and So can sing better than you.” “You can’t do this and that.” “You need to focus on school.” I’m like, “Damn… I’m not going to a should’ve, could’ve or would’ve.” I’m the controller of Charley. I do what I want. Last summer, I met a woman name Toni. We worked together on Sunday’s. It’s usually a mellow day. We were jamming to some music. She commented that I can sing. I laughed but it felt good. I didn’t know too much before that day. She said “We gonna work together.” I’m like, Huh? So, I went to visit her and she has a studio. I was all nerves I wanted to cry. But she kept encouraging me and her cousin IKP were telling to stop holding back. I couldn’t help it.. A month later, She says “Are you ready. We have a show coming up?” I couldn’t say no. That first show I’m shocked that I didn’t piss my pants. You knew I was nervous. I’m a lot more comfortable now. The whole team is motivating, encouraging, honest and talented. I’m so thankful for ToniSteelz. It’s now 8 months later and we’re doing big things. We’re going nowhere but up!! I’m extremely confident and proud of who I am. I’m sure my mom is smiling down at me. That’s all that really matters. You have to live your life for you. You are all you have at the end of the day. We have a show coming up on Thursday May 11 at 10pm at The Well in Brooklyn. See y’all there!!! Thanks for the love and support. Those that continue to inspire. Those that send well wishes. Those that have came to the show. My brother that tells me “It’s never too late”. Remember it’s you that is in control. No one else!!! I just needed to babble. The life of a stoner.