The single dude on a couples trip.

It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I totally had the best time ever. I’ve made a few new friends, gotten hit on left and right. Also, I ate like a 600 pound…. Whatever, is 600 pounds. That’s what I ate like.. My friends found out… I actually eat food. The slim figure just comes from good genes.

It started off with a group of friends having drinks. Everyone is catching up and wanting to see more of each other. Brenda, who’s super fun and is interested in everything and everyone. Makes a suggestion that we all go on a weekend trip. Everyone agrees to make this happen. Oh wait!! I’m the single friend. Who can I bring on this trip with me? I’m not going to suffer and watch these couples. Two of the couples will make sure I’m fine. The other couple are so wrapped up in each other. Hoping someone even acknowledges them. They will totally leave me hanging. I find out that they were only invited, because someone said to “Be nice!”. Everyone has their opinion about Sam and David. I tolerate them to an extent. Brenda is just too nice, period. Her wife Opal is very selective about people. Why not? These days, you have to be. Samara and Joseph are still in the honeymoon phase. They’re cool as hell.

Sam and Dave are the gay couple. Brenda and Opal are the lesbian couple. Samara and Joseph are the allies. They support everything from gay rights to racial equality. I love running into them at parties. I remember meeting Joseph at Laura’s 50th birthday party. Him and I hit it off really well. Then I met his wife and she was so amazing. We’ve made sure that we became friends. They actually want to introduce me to a friend of theirs. I’m totally open to it. I’ve met Brenda and Opal through Sam. Sam and I are pretty tight. I would always chat with Brenda. Opal was a bit scary at first. The drunk conversation with a cigarette changed everything. The dynamics are slowly changing as time goes on. Everyone thinks Dave is changing Sam. Honestly, no one can change a person. I would defend Sam, that’s my friend. Until, I picked up a few things. When these two became a couple. They became Beavis and Butthead. If you hang out with them separately. You’ll get an intelligent conversation. You get stuck with them together, you’re screwed.

Opal has grown tired of Sam. She feels that he’s uses people for convenience. If it’s beneficial to him and his boyfriend. They’ll be a part of it. If not, they’re invisible. She didn’t want them on the trip. She said she’s going to play nice. Dave, who now has an issue with everyone. Is going off about this and that person. Little does he knows, no one cares. No one is really checking for you. You’re Sam’s plus one literally. Sam is on his way out the circle, anyway. This dude has so many opinions. Sam would always co-sign. Days later, he’ll express how he really feels. That’s not good at all. When someone says something about Dave. He’ll get upset and I’m thinking. You shouldn’t have asked in the first place. Samara and Joseph are getting to know them. They generally don’t have an opinion on them yet. I’m pretty sure they’ll side with Opal.

It’s the day of the trip… They couples arrive first. Which sucks… I’m going to end up with the shitty room, I thought. Opal, suggested that everyone waits for me to arrive. Guess who had an issue? Dave. Opal reminded him about the many times that I looked out for Sam. She tells him… “You’re not even supposed to be here.” I arrive about an hour later. Which was the plan in the first place. They were all going to eat and check out the cabin. Suddenly, Sam has an issue with my arrival time. I will kick him and Dave’s ass. They better pipe down. Samara and Joseph are just taking this all in. I pretty much ignore them for the rest of the day. We choose the rooms. I managed to get the room with the balcony. Everyone had a great room. Of course, Sam and Dave disagree. No one’s listening to you two.

We all go and see the sights. We run into mutual friends. Everyone was shocked to see me. Most of them have only seen me on zoom. It was great to see them. Anything that’ll get me away from Beavis and Butthead. Thanks for the rescue squad!! It turns into a party at the cabin. Joseph finds a friend for me to talk to. Brenda and Opal were talking to everyone. Dave was making Sam uncomfortable by public display of affection. Wait!! Aren’t you always asking people to look at y’all? Three of our friends were actually working at the restaurants and bars for the summer. The free drinks were coming out fast. Most of us tipped extremely generously. It’s only fair. Some people didn’t tip at all. However, they scored free stuff all weekend. Tacky tacky tacky!!! Meanwhile, I’m having the time of my life with my new friend. Sam and Dave walks over and starts talking about nothing. He mentions that he wanted to show me something near the water. He didn’t.. he wanted to get away immediately. Already, I love him.

The rest of the weekend goes pretty well. Everyone has pretty much separated. We’ve only met up for breakfast and dinner. I don’t think I would stomach anymore togetherness. The trip is extended for another day. I ended up going on dates that entire weekend. Sam kept making it clear that I was the only single person on the trip. It doesn’t matter… I’m always going to have the fun you wish to have. You were staring at everything that walked by. Everyone that approached me.. There was a slick comment. He caught an allergic reaction to something. It made him shut up and go scratch. Everyone is extremely happy about this.

The trip comes to a close. I think we were all just ready to go home at this point. I missed my computer and television. Plus, I was exhausted. I’ve drank for four days straight, sunrise to sunset. They all had to get ready for work the next day. So glad that I work from home. Will I go on another trip with them? Absolutely! You can tune people out with the quickness and have a ball!

Author: Chazz.

Just some skinny pizza eating freak from Brooklyn. A lot of people say that I'm awesome. Which is dope! Now I want the universe to think so too.