Well…. That was awkward!

I’m feeling this look

What’s up Friends? So, I gotta get a little personal.

Yesterday started off great. I worked a long Saturday. Which I haven’t done in quite sometime. It was even a groovy day at the work place. After work I attended a birthday party for a friend. Christine is really sweet. I adore her personality and humor. It was perfect!! All the fun people that became my bar family were there. Some I haven’t seen in a while. Since I don’t drink as much. It was great to catch up. The Sauvignon Blanc was great. I had about three glasses. Any after that is dangerous. I shoved fruit and cheese down my mouth. It was heaven!! Happy Birthday Christine!!!

Let the awkwardness begin

I head over to my relatives for my cousins birthday function. She’s a cousin that I am close to. I can trust her not to run her mouth. I come from a large family. The mouths runneth pretty heavy. Which lead to disconnect and drama. Anyway, I manage to greet everyone. It was packed. If you miss someone you’ll get crucified. Kidding, just somewhat. I met a cousin that I have never met. That went pretty okay. I guess… I was always the one that was off on an adventure. Or, work and school. So, I didn’t really have time to attend functions. These days I try and it’s uncomfortable as hell. I literally have to bring someone with me. Just so I won’t get anxiety. Thankfully, I ate in Williamsburg. It was nothing but chicken and meat. That’s so not cool for a pescatarian. I’m just saying. Lol!!!

Introvert or Black Sheep

My mom passed away when I was a kid. She was my hero, best friend my everything. She was MOMMIE!!! When she passed away. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I would say I was fine. Although, I really wasn’t. I only talked to my mom. So, I was uncomfortable talking to any aunts and relatives. I went to stay with my cousins. I will say that it was definitely a learning experience. When you were the only child. Then you have to share. Which I had to get use to. I was a bad person for it. Meanwhile, I was just a fucking kid. I had to watch my cousins with their mothers. While, mine is deceased. Mother’s Day was a total slap in the face. Like.. Just fucking kill me!!! I got picked on for being to sensitive, not being masculine enough. It was hell at school. The emotional pain was more at home. Because anytime I would have an argument with a cousin. I was immediately called a bad name. Like the F word. I would never call a relative a name like that. However, I had to eat that shit. So, I just stayed in my lane respected my elders. I still got talked about. I’m totally thankful for the provision. We got allowances and had nice clothes. With me working and getting an allowance. It helped me get out and explore. Thank God!!!! The fun moments happened when it was just us. However, when all the cousins came around. It was “Let’s pick on Charley” then I would react in defense. But I was made the crazy over dramatic one. Wow!! I couldn’t wait to get older.

Fast forward to today. We’re all grown now. I have a connection with a few relatives. Some I don’t. Which is totally fine. At the point… I really don’t see it. Like I said above.. I at least try. So, the next awkward moment happens when everyone is singing Happy Birthday. It was not the traditional version. It was a Stevie Wonder version with a Caribbean beat. To be honest… It didn’t even sound like Stevie Wonder. So, I just smiled and clapped off beat. Yikes!! Then another relative shows up. I try to be cordial. However, he was always a jerk to me. Like if you hate me that much. Just don’t say shit. I understand its no hard feelings. Anyway, we exchange hellos.. Right after that it was.. “So what can I call you today?” What?? How about… How are you? Long time no see. I literally wanted to lose my shit. However, it would’ve been that flashback to childhood. When I would react and I look like the crazy one. Not this time…. I smiled and said.. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” At that time it wasn’t a good time and I needed to get to fuck away. It was amazing seeing my cousin celebrate her day. She deserves the best. It was great to see some. Shitty to see others. Well.. I always say. Family definitely isn’t everything. At least, they’re something.

Author: Chazz.

Just some skinny pizza eating freak from Brooklyn. A lot of people say that I'm awesome. Which is dope! Now I want the universe to think so too.

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